– THIS STORY IS SUITABLE FOR OVER 18's ONLY –

I forgot what it was like to see sunlight. Direct sunlight. Hi, my name is James. Well, it's not really but an ordinary name like John might bore you. Don't worry I'm sure you'll find this all very interesting, darling. You see, I am one of the original Debaser Kids. We formed a cult and now we are fabulous, don't you think?

See, each night we would go to the biggest party and give each person who bothered to glance at us a basket full of drugs and fruit. We did that for two weeks and now we are the talk of the town. Oh did I say we? Sorry I haven't explained who "we" are exactly. We, him and me, are James and Mandy. Oh, don't be fooled by the name, hunny. He's a drag queen, and a bad one at that. No, don't talk Mandy, this is my time to talk, you can talk later, okay?
 
Anyway, everyone seems to think that Mandy and me have known each other since we were kids, how dreary would that be? No, the truth is we only met last year. New Year's Eve as I recall. I was wearing blue paint with the body of Monroe and Mandy was looking like a Shaye Saint John look-a-like, how pathetic! So as I was saying, we met at New Year’s. We met in the toilets. Mandy had the most interesting pills on him. I forget what they were now, but I remember having a good time. But the punchline hasn't come yet. Just wait, be patient, it'll come.
 
So now Mandy and I live together. Oh, we get by quite well, I suppose. One of us is either turning tricks or moping. Don't worry about us, babe. We'll be just fine! Well, the truth is I don't know. You see last night, we got in at about 3am and I guess Mandy thought I was asleep. Mandy and I sleep together. Oh no, we aren't lovers, nothing so perfect. No, we are more just fuckers. Fuckers not lovers, doesn't that have a nice ring to it? So yes, Mandy must have thought I was sleeping. I saw him slide out of the bed, crawl out of the room and grab something out of his jacket. I didn’t dare ask what it was. He's a personal guy, likes to keep himself to himself, you know? Anyway I saw him wrap it in a white towel and put it in the wash basket. Guess who had the sudden urge to clean clothes? That's right, me.
 
I stuck my hand in before looking. "What the fuck is this?" I screamed out. Luckily it was the next day and Mandy was out. My hand was covered in green goo. I made it my rule to never go sticking my nose into other people's business after that.

Now we move on to Saturday night. Mandy and I had hardly seen each other this week so we decided to have a night in for a change. I cooked; he poured the wine and looked charming. During the meal Mandy asked me if we would ever leave Bognil. I blew out the candles and kissed him goodnight.
 
Want more? Okay!
 
The next day I woke up, half drunk, half sober and freezing my tits off! Mandy placed me in a bath full of ice, motherfucker! Mandy and I were always pulling pranks on each other like this. But I'd get him back; it would just take a bit of planning.

Well, on Tuesday we just had a shower and ate pasta so I'll spare you all the insightful details. Wednesday night was Gloryhole Night. Gloryhole Night basically involved waiting round for hours in a toilet cubicle until someone stuck their dick in the hole, then Mandy and I would take turns to take polaroids of the stranger's cocks. Often they were too frightened to ask what just happened and they would run out the toilets like little kids. Well most of the time, once this big great angry bear knocked our toilet door down. We were terrified! The bear grabbed the photo off Mandy and ripped it up. The funny thing was he still had his cock out and his jeans were kind of trailing along the piss stained floor, so I think we won that battle.
 
Now I know what you're thinking. Two twinks running around some big city acting like kids, happy to sniff, snort or swallow anything that came their way. Well, you are wrong. Mandy and I worked very hard to be the people we are today. We had to suck a lot of dick to get to this level of popularity. Okay, so in a manner of speaking we have never worked a day in our lives, true, we never worked in a store or in a hospital or on a farm. But we earned our way with time and effort. How did we earn money? Ah yes, through plate jobs and tea bagging, that was fun!
 
Now the money wasn't a lot but we got by okay on it. Until one time when I was frotting this rich old man, he offered to take me in to his house, to feed me, dress me and take care of me. No, it wasn't as charming and sweet as a father-son relationship; more like I was his sex slave and he paid me. His name was Richard and he had lovely white hair and a fluffy moustache and a beautiful red dressing gown. Richard sadly died of a heart attack a few months later. Lucky for me, he left me everything in his will. The house, the money, the two cars and the six dogs. Well, I had to get rid of them, oh don't be silly, not the cars, the dogs! Couldn't bear cleaning all that mess up all the time. But now it was paradise.
 
Mandy moved in straight away, of course. He was thrilled to move in to a place he could finally call home. Now the house had two floors and two everythings. Two bathrooms, two walk-in wardrobes, two bedrooms and even two kitchens, though I never saw the point in that. Most of the time though Mandy and I were always on the same floor together, we were inseparable, so we stayed in the same bed, used the same bath, the same wardrobe, and same kitchen. Every three weeks we would swap which floor we wanted to live in. It was like moving but more fun. We made a large hole in the centre of the top floor and when we decided to move downstairs we would just chuck everything down the hole, easy!
 
I sometimes still miss Richard. He was a really sweet man. He never bothered me like Mandy sometimes does. No, we just always seemed to get on quite happily.
 
Well it's far too late to carry on with this. I'm going to bed. Make up your own ending!
 
Before you go though, just, just one thing. As a kid I had this globe, a world globe and every day I would close my eyes and spin the globe, whilst it was spinning I’d place my finger on the globe and wherever it landed I dreamt of going there. Just packing my bags, not telling anyone and just leaving.
 
Well, today I did that. I leave in twenty-five minutes. For a long time I did consider telling Mandy about it. But he doesn't cope well with goodbyes. It's not like i'm sick of him, I just want to live out my dream. Maybe I'll come back, what do you think? I'm going to walk down Maple Street and turn left. The train station isn't far from there. Wish me good luck and tell Mandy I said goodbye. Give my love to Richard too. Tell him we’ll meet again.

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