“Hello,” said Henry Kibble. The extremely good looking blonde woman, who’d been absentmindedly thinking about buying a new car, said it back to him. As soon as the word left her red lipsticked mouth she realised what she’d done. Her husband, a tall and slightly overweight man, looked at her in shock. Grabbing her arm he hurried her off into the Megamart. Henry stared after them, his eyes shocked wide with awe. He could not believe that a Shopper had spoken to him.

He knew from that moment on he’d never stop thinking about the woman. He couldn’t tear his mind away from her and the word she’d said to him. He’d even forgotten to greet a couple of Shoppers but luckily his indiscretion hadn’t been spotted by a Manager-Drone. That would have been unfortunate to say the least.

Henry’s eyes relentlessly scanned the checkout area for another glance of her. If only he could get away from the door and walk through the Megamart. He ached for her and he was sure he’d die if she spoke to him again.

‘There she is!’ his mind screamed. She was waiting by Checkout 136, her husband by her side. They were waiting as a Checkout-Drone packed their purchases into a tele-box, ready to send to their apartment. What had they bought? Henry peered like a madman. Peas. Potatoes. And catfood. Catfood!
‘A cat!’ thought Henry excitedly. Anyone who owned a cat…wow! Cats were very rare and horribly expensive things to buy – ever since they’d been over-culled by the Dick Administration back in ‘67.
The couple made their way past him. The woman didn’t even look at him. It didn’t matter though; Henry knew what she felt for him. And he knew what he felt for her – like he was dying. He watched her disappear into the parking zone and began to shake.

*

Henry had worked in the Tabo Megamart all his life. He was now twenty-five-years-old and had been acquired by Tabo at birth.

He’d begun his working life on the day that he was born. His first job had been sampling baby milk. He’d worked his way through the years until he’d reached the dizzy career height of Greeter, and like all Greeters, he considered himself lucky. Being a Greeter meant he was well fed, well housed and hardly ever punished by the Manager-Drones – scruffy, skinny young men covered in vivid red scars tended to put the Shoppers off.

*

Henry sneaked out of the dormitory and made his way through the aisles of the Megamart, slick Platinum floors soaking up the sound of his footsteps. He walked through the still open, in fact, the always-open store, passing Workers stacking shelves, Workers cleaning floors, avoiding the gaze of late night Shoppers and somehow managing to avoid the Manager-Drones catching sight of him.

The warehouse was dark. Boxes climbed high into the ceiling; giant stairs reaching into the night. Henry walked and walked.
‘Come on,’ he thought. ‘Where are you?’

After fumbling a couple of aimless miles, he found what he was looking for. He reached up and carefully took down a box, placed it on the floor and opened it. A full box of Furry Beast Catfood. Taking out a can and opening it, he scoffed it greedily down. Then he opened and ate another, and another, and another until he’d eaten the whole box. Surrounded by empty cans, Henry felt sick. He sat very still. A single movement and he’d be done for. Minutes dripped by and eventually he felt a little better. He stood and walked back to the dormitory. It took him a while.

*

Henry waited for the blonde woman to come back. Every shift was an anxious torment of seconds that seemed like hours. He scoured every face with hungry expectation. He didn’t see her though and every night he returned to the dormitory a little sadder but a little more determined. He’d be ready.

For the seventh night in a row Henry made his way into the dimly lit warehouse, up the aisles and to the boxes of Furry Beast. Then his world fell apart. As quick as blinking.
The warehouse lit up and he found himself surrounded by six Manager-Drones, their red eye globes staring mercilessly down at him from atop their grey column shaped bodies. They closed in and Henry’s world went from merely falling apart to completely and very violently collapsing.

Of course, he admitted it straight away. From the forgetting to greet Shoppers to the unauthorised trespass into the Megamart warehouse to the stealing of catfood, he gave it all up instantly. They knew it all anyway. His reason behind it, he managed to hold onto that for nearly five whole minutes. The relentless red eye globes of the Manager-Drones stared it out of him. That part of Henry’s life was now over. He didn’t care.

*

Four days later an almost destitute Henry was standing in the dark and dingy office of Dr Eric Bumstrasse, a small man with the air of a diseased back street dentist. Fetid was a perfect word for him.
“Ten thousand,” said Dr Bumstrasse, voice hard with finality.
“Ten thousand?” Henry asked, sounding defeated and hanging his head.
“Ten thousand!” announced Dr Bumstrasse, banging his fist down onto his coffee stained, paper strewn desk. “All in advance.”
“Oh,” mumbled Henry and turned and trudged out of the office into the bright sunshine. He looked up and watched the birds flap between the cars that flew silently through the deep blue sky. A large blackbird circled down to land a few feet in front of him. The bird pecked at the ground. Henry Kibble pounced on it, killing it with a slap of his hand. He picked it up and hid it in his dirty brown jacket, saving it for later. He made his way home.
Arriving at the front door of the building that housed his living box, Henry was shocked to see the dull, stinking form of Dr Bumstrasse beckoning to him.
Henry looked guiltily over his shoulder, as though he knew he was about to do wrong. The doctor leaned toward him and spoke in a low voice that dripped with innuendo.
“There is another way, y’know,” he said. “Shall we talk?”
Henry nodded and Bumstrasse led him off down a dark alleyway.

*

It was a whole month before Dr Bumstrasse mentioned fulfilling his side of the bargain, a month in which the doctor’s demands got ever more abstract and demeaning. Henry set his mind on the beautiful blonde woman and somehow managed to get through it. Then one day Bumstrasse yielded.
“I think its time we got you fixed up, my friend,” said Bumstrasse, tucking in his shirt. “Come by the office tomorrow. Three o’clock.”
Henry nearly wept with relief and later that night he couldn’t sleep because he was so excited. This could be his last night in this horrible place and his last night in this horrible body. And, more importantly, he would soon be with her.

As his sleepless night wore on, Henry traced his life so far – each awful event splashed across his mind like splattered blood. It was a sorry tawdry affair, like a film you’d walk out of half way through. All that time he’d wasted working for Tabo Megamart, the Manager-Drones’ punishment, the awful dismissal process, the humiliation and the mockery. And finally there was the nightly debasement at the hands of Bumstrasse. It’d all be over soon.

*

Bumstrasse handed Henry a book, it had a large picture of a friendly looking Tabby Cat on the front. Henry thumbed through the book slowly; this was a decision he’d have to get right. Too mean looking and she might reject him; too stripy might not be to her taste, too exotic, too black, or too white – his mind whirled with the choices.
Finally, after an hour spent to-ing and fro-ing backwards and forwards, Henry decided on a black fluffy Tom. Too cute for words, he’d never seen anything like it.

He showed his choice to Dr Bumstrasse who simply shrugged and walked off to finish setting up the equipment. In the corner of the room Bumstrasse had erected a large wooden board, computer screens and bubbling pots of slime all connected by a strange mess of wires. The apparatus screeched out an awful whine every now and then. Straps crossed the wooden board ominously. In the very corner of the room, lying on it’s side, was the metal skeleton of what looked like a cat, its transistors and tiny wires awaiting the life that Dr Bumstrasse would soon fill it with. The mechanical cat was attached to the main apparatus by a thick black and red striped wire.
“Lie there,” said Dr Bumstrasse, pointing at the wooden board.

Henry positioned himself on the board and Bumstrasse pulled the straps tight. Henry couldn’t have moved even if he’d have wanted to. He’d also never been so happy in his life.
The doctor turned toward Henry and then, using a large fork shaped implement, he started to jab Henry very painfully in the legs, then in the torso and, finally, in the face.
“All part of the process,” wailed Doctor Bumstrasse, obviously enjoying himself.
Henry moaned in agony. Bumstrasse picked up one of the bubbling pots of slime and, with an ecstatic shriek, flung it all over Henry, who screamed in pain and shock.
Suddenly, the pain disappeared and Henry’s body was gone – his mind floated somewhere inside one the computers. Disembodied but happy. He could feel the doctor tapping out a series of commands on the keyboard; then Henry Kibble whooshed down the red and black wire and into the mechanical cat. Dr Bumstrasse skilfully clothed the mechanical skeleton in a pelt of black fluffy fur.

Moments later, the black fluffy cat slinked its way out of the horrid office, down the corridor and out into the night.

The doctor watched the cat from the window. He saw it disappear down a dark alleyway, a smile crossing his face. “Good luck, my furry little friend,” he said.

*

Henry made his way down an alleyway. The sights and sounds assailed him with their strangeness but it was the smells that caught him off-guard. Thick greasy smells, light attractive smells, it almost felt like he was touching them. The world had never seemed to make so much sense to him.
A movement! The rat looked like fun and he considered chasing it but he fought the urge and continued on.

Driven by pure instinct, Henry made his way toward the object of his desire. He could feel that he was getting nearer to her and a strange sound filled his ears – he felt panic rise but then he realised he was purring. He smiled inwardly; it was a nice feeling.

And then, almost without realising it, he was there – her apartment block. He made his way over to the doorway and sat down to wait. He waited and waited and soon the sky became light. He was still there when it went dark again.

Suddenly he jolted, a strange electric feeling filled his head. Panic filled him. Why had everything gone quiet? Why couldn’t he see properly? He felt like his head was going to pop. Everything was becoming distant and scary.

*

It was late when Simulacra Wedge got out of her new car and walked toward the entrance of her apartment.
‘I hope he’s a got a bottle of red open,’ she thought.
She hunted in her bag for her keys and then she heard a feint mewling noise. She looked down and she saw a scruffy black cat lying on the ground. She’d nearly stood on it. The cat’s tail wagged slightly.
“Hello, Puddy Cat,” said Simulacra; leaning down to stroke it’s black fluffy head.
Henry’s heart leapt and then his world slowly went black.

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